Tuesday, January 10, 2012

in honor

one of my favorite stories growing up was the little prince, by antoine de saint exupéry. I had a calendar in middle school, and at the end of that calendar year I cut out every picture and matching quote and recycled them into cards and so forth over the years.. I’m pretty darn certain my mom has one of them in a book I made her just last year on her birthday when her and dad came up to the mountains for the weekend (side note- diddy, ill be at burgermeisters, your fav, after work for a burger, fried pickles, and a cold one, see you there.. on another side note, i have to share this story- one time when we were there, maybe moms birthday trip, there was this ragged old beater of a truck out front of burgermeisters that had spray painted on the back, 'dont laugh at the truck, your daughter loves it'.. we got pictures and everything. anyways, a few weeks after dad passed away and im driving home from asheville after my first week back at work, music blasting, tears rollin', no hope in the world, and here beside me barreling up mt pisgah comes this truck. be it a sign or coincidence- i needed it at that moment, but i am superstituous, and i am my father's daughter, and i do like to find meaning in just about anything..) back on track      > I also based one of my photography books in highschool around this quote from the book, “Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.”
*In case you don’t understand the words that im sayin’, “here is my secret. It is very simple. it is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
where I photographed the eyes only, of close friends and then fashioned my own (yes-homemade!) book to compile the images. And it’s also got a nice little home somewhere in the midst of all that chaos order I spoke of a few days ago (see last post)..
I got a very special card last year after dads passing with a little prince image and quote that I just love. And it being his birthday! tomorrow, I cannot think of a more appropriate time to share…
"When you look up at the sky at night, since I'll be living on one of them, since I'll be laughing on one of them, for you, it'll be as if all the stars are laughing. You'll have stars that can laugh!"
(and it goes on… “And he laughed again. ‘And when you're consoled (everyone is eventually consoled), you'll be glad you've known me. You'll always be my friend. You'll feel like laughing with me. And you'll open your windows sometimes just for the fun of it... And your friends will be amazed to see you laughing while you're looking up at the sky.’ Then you'll tell them, 'Yes, it's the stars. They always make me laugh!’”)
So this is just a quick little post for all of you who wonder about those that you love and where they’ve ventured off to now, just take a look up at the night sky... and laugh! (because sometimes that is the only way to get you through that moment..) I find solace in simply taking in the vast, open sky, feeling so small down here looking up; and in the hope that they’re laughing and sparkling! up there too.
*as our yoga class came to an end tonight and im laying there reflecting on the intention I set for the last hour and half, I hear, “someday ill wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind me, where troubles melt like lemon drops away above the chimney tops, that’s where you’ll find me..” (somewhere over the rainbow was playing was actually in the background) and I smile, and remember to look up if im needing some extra comfort.

love you diddy, happy birthday. i'll celebrate your life and cherish your advice always.

 "remember, in life there are no shortcuts to any place worth going. love everything you do."
                                                                         -wise words of kpg

 (...the next posts should involve more than just a meer mention of a burger and fried pickles...just had to get into the groove again y'all. turn' it up.)

Saturday, January 7, 2012

lettuce turndown the beet

Much to my mother’s dismay i have this horribly amazing habit of collecting and keeping just about anything and everything. This includes, but is not limited to- magazine tear outs, ticket stubs, buttons!, jars & tin cans, socks (even if there is no match, i get it from my mama..), fortunes (im going to epoxy them to a table one day), t-shirts, random memorabilia, antique furniture & blankets (thanks gma!), annnd horoscopes (free will, duh).

Not sure why the horoscopes, but… while talking with a my fav yogi friend today about how stumped I was on how to start off my new, new years blog, she suggested starting with resolutions. I, of course immediately thought, well shit, I don’t have any new years resolutions.. So here I was right back where I started some, four odd days ago. (And really, some four odd months ago since its taken me this long to get a post up. So we’ll get back to the resolutions, and back to the lack of posts here in just a sec, yall.) i let the blog post idea go and my attention quickly shifted to our dual newfound love for pinterest.
 after our chat, I had some running around to do downtown and lots of pinterest inspiration pumping through my veins, so when I picked up this weeks mountain express i quickly flipped to the middle pages to find my horoscope, and then superstitious me (thanks, dad) started to wonder if last years horoscope had any insight into this whirlwind of a year that followed. And then I remembered it had to be somewhere in those stacks of pages ive ripped out over the years.. and sure enough, bottom of one of the many shoe boxes led me to…  
2011: In 1967, the U.S. had 31,225 nuclear warheads. But by 2010 it had a mere 5,113. The world's most militarized nation hopes to scale down to an even more modest 3,000 or so by 2021. In the coming year, Scorpio, I'd love to see you be inspired by that example to begin reducing your own levels of anger and combativeness. You don't have to do away entirely with your ability to fight everyone who doesn't agree with you and everything you don't like; just cut back some. I'm sure that'll still leave you with plenty of firepower.
meh. if you know me, you know I probably had no interest in being told that then, or now for that matter. And last new years things were going wonderful until 2011 decided to rear its ugly little head (for the first of many times) and abruptly put an end to that early on with my dads passing on jan.15th. That snowy, foggy, dark morning marked the beginning of an icy road ahead. Amidst the shock and heartache 2011 so graciously brought with it, I've really tried to seek some solace in the natural ebb and flow of life. Remembering how I used to love to chase the rise and fall of the waves on the shores at the beach with my dad holding my hand as a child. How in the natural cycle of life it was only fitting we take part of him back to that beach that he, and we, oh so dearly love.

How with sorrow comes joy.. and vice versa.
How it takes hardship to let you love the rest.
How there’s so much go and stop and go along the way.
And how he’s still ridin’ that highway,
helping me to figure out where I’m going.

There were so many personal resolutions I “tried” to make throughout 2011 that when 2012 rolled around, I sure as hell wasn’t ready to make any more. And I wasn’t about to backtrack the miles(!!!) I’d traveled over just these last few months to feel bad about not following through with another one..

(an impromptu mother daughter trip to mexico and a dear friends wedding weekend brought me back to a place where I could finally let go of some of the resolutions from the past and begin this journey up*, into the present..)

*my horoscope the week I returned from nola: In his poem "Ode to the Present," Pablo Neruda tells us how to slip free and clear into the luxuriously potent opportunity of the present moment. The here-and-now is so ripe and willing, he says. "Take a saw to its delicious wooden perfume," he continues, and then "build a staircase. Yes, a staircase. Climb into the present, step by step, press your feet onto the resinous wood of this moment, going up, going up, not very high . . . Don't go all the way to heaven. Reach for apples, not the clouds." Such good advice for you, Scorpio! It's a perfect time to learn more about the magic of the present moment as you free yourself from "the unrepairable past."

 And in this challenging year I would have to say I have traveled oceans, and mountains…literally. But yea, however the saying goes.. And if theres one thing my diddy taught me, in his living and his passing, its that not much else matters in this world aside from how you treat those that you care about and the relationships you share with these people. his motto always was 'dont sweat the small stuff', and although thats a lesson i could still afford to pay a little more attention to, its true, life really is just too short.
2011 did close a few doors (maybe slam a few in my face), but it also opened a few windows and gave me hope for some new possibilities. i have a new appreciation for things i have taken for granted in the past. no doubt these next few months will be difficult and challenging, i just hope i can continue to flow a little more graciously through this new year than its past. i feel so unbelievably lucky to have some of the best friends and family in the entire world and am constantly reminded of that every day. I wouldn’t be here now if it weren’t for all yall. muchos (wheat)gracias, and so so much love.

...I think ill pay a little more attention to this years horoscope ;)
2012: Many of the questions we had as children never got resolved or answered to our satisfaction. They still remain marinating in the back of our minds. Meanwhile, fresh queries keep welling up within us as the years go by. After a while, we've got a huge collection of enigmas, riddles, and conundrums. Some of us regard this as a tangled problem that weighs us down, while others see it as a sparkly delight that keeps making life more and more interesting. Where do you stand on the issue, Scorpio? If you're in the latter group, you will be fully open to the experiences that will be flowing your way in 2012. And that means you will be blessed with a host of sumptuous and catalytic new questions.
i think i will go with the latter, sumptuous and catalytic dont sound half bad..
..and i could probably afford to be a little less combative too, now that im thinking about it..

So call it superstitious (the writings on the wall, er, car windshield) or my father’s daughter (or whatever you want) but ill carry 2011 very close to my heart not only with the wonderful memories I have with my diddy, but also the journey its taken me on. here's to more mountains beyond these, with beautiful views along the way for us all. and knowing that 26 marked on my foot  the start of a new year, its important to keep reminding myself, with help, that tomorrow is a different day...

I promise I will continue to post more consistently in this new year and that the ones to follow are a little more 'up beet'.
**i had a hard time getting started, and this is a little rusty so thanks for following along if you were able to keep up. . and those that caught all the wsp ref. ive been a little excited about nye & mexico with the boys!

here's to a wonderful 2012, yall!